So, today and I guess since summer began, I've been running into old high school or family friends. Each time I see someone I knew, I feel a nervous chill shoot down my back. It's a cool sensation. I feel excited and slightly afraid at the same time. If they recognize me, it's not nearly as much fun. It's more fun to surprise the people. No matter what thus far I have gotten great reactions.

Usually its "WOW! I didn't even recognize you. How are you? You look great." I find the last part funny because I don't see it so much. I see the remaining beard shadow, the adams apple, the muscle and lack of chest, but hey, I take the compliments, no problems. I always get good responses though. People seem genuinely happy to see me and have no issues with me at all. That truely surprises me and makes me very happy. Thus far, I've really enjoyed running into people I haven't seen.

I guess that is certainly a good sign. Years ago, trans people would be shot if they were discovered. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but I don't know. I'm just glad I live in this day and age, and not any earlier. Well, I'm off to bed. More work in the morning. It never ends. See ya.

Luv,

Jessica

I think so far, my voice has been ok. However, I think it still needs work. I get a lot of practice with it since I use it all day at work with customers. Rarely does anyone question it, but I feel uncomfortable with it. It sounds ok, but I don't have the range to modulate like the average girl. By that, I mean I'm too monotone. Plus, I feel there's too much breathiness. My voice trainer at school told me I want that sound. But personally, I don't. I feel it sounds fake...at least to me it does. I want the clarity that I hear in every woman's voice that comes through my line. Plus, I want to speak more naturally. I didn't really have to go back to the voice clinic in the fall, but I definitely will. Hey, why not if it's free.

OK, now to complaining. I'm going to compile a list of everything I wish customers didn't do when checking out and eventually post it on here. I can already think of quite a few things that bother me right now, but I'll save it for later. Also, we started a new game today. It's called "Count the Mullets." We get so many people who fail to realize how out of style the mullet is, if it was ever in style. So I thought it would be a fun thing to pass the time with. Whoever can count the most in one day wins.

Well, that's it for tonight. Time for sleep....zzzzzzz.

Luv,

Jessica

I love my friends! :D

~Jess

Well, today was interesting. While I was working at the movie theater, the place was robbed.....sort of. We had a short change con artist come in. It was an old black lady, probably in her mid to late fifties, about 5'5". She didn't buy a ticket, just wanted change for her fifty dollar bill, or wait....now it's a hundred dollar bill....and so on and so on. She confused two of our staff members resulting in $350 bucks. The cameras show her snickering as she left. This all happened while I was upstairs starting movies. So, I was unaware anything happened until 5:30 when I was supposed to leave.

After I heard what happened I wondered if this lady hit all the local places. One of my coworkers was like "Na, she wouldn't be that stupid." But, I figured she would be. She was obviously dumb enough to walk into a place with fully visible security cameras and work her magic, so she'd be dumb enough to try several places. Sure enough, I went to Wal-Mart next door and found out she got about 50 bucks there too. It was then that I came up with an idea for a local area crime phone chain between the businesses in the area. I told my boss and she liked the idea too. I'm going to speak to my other boss tomorrow and see what they think. It would have prevented a lot of problems today if we had that in place.

Aside from that, my chest has been bothering me quite a bit as of late. It's not the throbbing growing pains, but mainly just the nipple. They're just so extremely sensitive. If they are even brushed, it hurts quite a bit. Feels like sharp pains...almost like pins. Thank goodness I haven't run into anything recently. Oh boy...that'll suck when it does happen though. Let's hope that's a long way off.

Well, that's about it for today....g'night.

Luv,

Jess

Well, for the most part, the good Karma has stuck with me. I got a raise yesterday. I went shopping the day before and had fun. Got some cool new clothes. Saw the Matrix Reloaded for the second time. And...since I've been so busy, I haven't had to see much of my sisters. That makes it all the better. Today I also got offered a position in the shoes department. I don't know if I want to take it yet. It's probably less flexible than my current area. I'll give it a little time yet.

I've definitely made several new friends. Some at work and some not, but all of them are good. The friends I've made at work are so wonderful to have. They help the day go faster and put a smile on my face at the same time. There's this one girl, who happens to be tall like me, that has become one of my better friends. We make faces at each other, poke each other, and pick on people...all in good fun too. Some of my coworkers creep me out.....well ok, just one or two, and both are boys. But still, I try to avoid them. All in all, it seems people like me at work. Chalk one up for the transgender team.

Digressing back to my sisters. I've pretty much concluded that if those two weren't here, my summer wouldn't be bad at all. They really seem to be the negativity in my life right now. So far, I get used for my opinion on clothing, fixing computer problems, and a nice target for blaming things on. My little sister makes a point to immediately turn the attention to me if she gets blamed for something. My older sister really tries hard to call me what I want to be called, and I appreciate that. But it seems she knows nothing about sympathy or empathy. She doesn't understand that I need a hug from time to time, nor does she seem to show interest. She usually just demeans me when I'm depressed and then insults my intelligence by telling me I should have expected people to treat me certain ways. She also has a huge issue with pointing out people's flaws. It's really friggin annoying. So yeah, I love them and all, but I'd rather they werent living at home this summer.

That's really my main complaint right now. Aside from that, things aren't too bad. Let's hope things get better. Time for bed. Another full day of work tomorrow.

Luv,

Jess