I’ve had a Batman infusion the past few weeks. Batman: Arkham Asylum was released for all the video game systems out there, and I got a copy. I’ve been grappling around the Gotham nut house kicking some crazy ass for the past week or so. What a fun game! I’m a bit addicted…and as usual…quite the nerd. Ha!
So…what’s new with me. Well, today I became an official card carrying member of the LGBT community center of the Chippewa Valley. I also turned in my application to be a member of the board. I’ve been feeling the need to be doing more. I’ve stopped freelance, and that’s been great. I’m no longer feeling the pressure of having deadlines and getting projects done during my nights. Instead I’m free to do what I want. Now I can start to do more for the community…well…more than I already do.
I ran into a friend at the center, and she informed me that the youth group I used to facilitate for is starting up again. She asked me if I’d be willing to facilitate again. She flat out told me I’d be perfect. I was excited about the idea, and I can honestly say I’ve missed doing it. At the same time, I found myself thinking about some of the things I’ve been working on lately. One of those things is that I have an ego and am a bit self centered. To me that seems so contraditctory to her statement of me being perfect for it. At the same time, I’m feeling that this is just what I need. I need to spend time listening to others and forgetting about my own problems. So yeah, I’m all about it. PLUS, she knows how to do metalworking. Upon me sharing that I want to learn, she was all about teaching me. I’d say that’s a win win right there.
Speaking of personal issues to work through, yesterday I discovered another facet of myself that I’m quite ashamed of. I’m a jealous person. I came home from a great day at work. I seriously felt energized and excited about my job…so much so that I almost forgot to go home. When I got home, I saw my roommate’s boy’s car in the driveway. Two things ran through my head, one being how annoying I thought he was the last time I hung out with him, and two…that I was so jealous of Chris for having a life.
That’s being harsh. I just talked about running for the board and so on. So clearly I have a life, but since I’ve moved back here, I haven’t really connected with a lot of people. That’s my own fault, and besides, it takes time. Chris has been here for years, and of course he has plenty of people to do stuff with. I felt lonely and so jealous that I even got angry at stupid things that happened. I didn’t even realize why I was upset until later in the evening. When I did, I was so ashamed of myself that I almost broke down in tears right then.
Chris and his boy were not actually home right away, and when they did get home, I holed up in the family room and watched some Dark Knight special features to distract myself. I didn’t talk to Chris much more than a little bit. He was willing to give me space, which I appreciate. I ended up letting my feelings out later on in the evening after Chris went to sleep.
Today I told Chris how I felt and how ashamed I was. He shared with me stories of his own experiences with jealousy and his similar feelings of shame. It helped a lot to hear that and to know that we both have the same issue. I know it’ll get better too. After going to the community center today, and connecting with some great people, I already feel so much better. I think now that I know what’s going on, I’ll be able to cope with it easier.
Enough of this down talk! Let’s talk about something fun and exciting. 
Friday night I went to the LGBT Community Center (again…wait…it was the first time going…ah whatever). I had gone to pick up a board application, and I had no intention of staying long. My friend Anne was there, and we started chatting. It was fun. Then, a pretty lady walked in that I’d never seen before. She joined the conversation and it was a lot of fun. Quickly the time disappeared, and it was 10:00…when the center was closing for the night. Anne, the lovely lady, and I decided to go to Scooters, the local gay bar.
We talked at Scooters for a while, and after about 45 minutes, Anne decided to head home. This pretty lady and I chatted for a while, one of her friends showed up, and it was about quarter to one in the morning when we all decided to head out. Time flies when you’re having fun. She and I exchanged numbers, and I’m sure we’ll talk or go to coffee soon. What a crazy, random happenstance meeting someone like that. I’m all about it.
In other news, I’ve been thinking a lot about Genderverse, the podcast, and where I’d like to go with my activism. I’ve been considering the idea of making Genderverse a kind of gender news / commentary portal that I write articles for and serve as editor. I think it’d be neat to critique the media, entertainment industry, and so on, in a fun and humorous way. I think it’d be a great way to engage the world in talking about gender. Now…do I write software for it or use something like WordPress? That one I haven’t figured out yet. I’m definitely going to need a content management system, and I don’t want to use Joomla or other ones out there. If you have suggestions, please share them. I’d appreciate it.
I also sat down with Audrey, my favorite college professor, and we discussed a few things. I’ll be speaking in her class again, much like I did when I was in college. I also asked her to help me with the process of writing my book. I showed her the outline I’m working on, and she liked it. It needs a bit of revising and organizing, which I need to sit down and spend some time with, but otherwise, it’s coming along well. That’s good to hear. She is excited to see where it goes, as am I.
I went to the Ren Faire about two weeks back. It was a blast. I spent a little too much money, but all in all, I did stay mostly in my budget. I’m proud of that. I’ve been sticking to it every since I started using Mint.com (and I’m a little bit upset that Intuit is buying that company cause I know they’re going to ruin it). Anyway, I dressed in the same dress I wore to the SCA event about 10 months ago. You can see photos of it if you go back in the blog archives. I also put on elf ears. As usual, if you want attention at the Ren Faire, wear elf ears. I had so many people staring, asking questions, and taking photos. The creepiest one was an older bald man asking to chew on them. Aside from that, it was great. I always love the Ren Faire.
Speaking of the Faire, I found out the Chippewa Falls Ren Faire will be back up and running next year. I’m really happy to hear that. I’m considering volunteering. I’d love to participate more in such a fun event. Then I’d get to be the creepy person working at the faire. Hehe. I may actually make a new dress for it. I have plenty of time though…doesn’t start til next summer.
So…question of the blog: What stories do you have of jealousy in your life?
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